Posting this with a heavy heart this morning. I wrote the paragraph below yesterday on Facebook, but I wanted to write more on my blog as I am still processing the permanence of this tremendous loss.

I want to take a moment to honor our wonderful Psychiatric nursing professor, Diane Babral. We just learned that Professor Babral passed away fighting cancer this morning. Professor Babral was source of light and inspiration for us all. She was one of the kindest, most genuine, and most understanding women I've known. We collectively admired her warm, calming demeanor, spunky sense of style, openness in sharing stories, understanding, and support. I remember how she played a meditation for us during class one morning when she knew we had a Pharmacology test later that day...After our final Foundations lecture in December regarding "Death and Dying", her and I spent several minutes afterwards talking about death... I won't ever forget that. Thank you for sharing your gifts and your passion for nursing with us, Professor Babral. We will always remember you and the beautiful impact you have had on all of us. Your teaching has forever infused my life with meaning, and I will keep you in my heart during my journey through nursing. Sending you infinite peace, gratitude, and love.

I am struggling with the loss of Professor Babral because she was SUCH a special woman. I am feeling a chasm knowing I will never see her or listen to one of her lectures again. How a person may be present on earth one day and not the next is absolutely, the single, most perplexing aspect of humanity. It doesn't seem like it was her time; she had such a substantial impact to leave so soon, but I can only reason that her great impact was why she was able to leave so soon. She most definitely had an expansive impact on so many lives...patients, coworkers, colleagues, students, and I am sure family and friends. She was truly and sincerely a light for us all. She was one of the kindest, most patient, and most compassionate women, and she was also real, spunky, and a "tough cookie." 

I truly felt like my interactions with her had great meaning, and I cannot get over how ironic it was that the two of us connected on the topic of death and how it has touched our lives. 

I remember her asking in class that day, "Why are death and grieving difficult?" I was the only person to raise my hand. I answered, "Because each person is different and it's hard to know exactly what someone, or the patient's family, needs when they are grieving." She wholeheartedly agreed. 

After that class, we talked for about 15 minutes and she told me numerous stories about her experiences with death, one of which was about a child, and it was particularly hard for her. She talked about being the one to step in and call the time of death. This showed me she has great courage and strength, and her entire existence radiated compassion, so I have no doubt that she made the call in such a manner. Finally, she shared how she attended someone's funeral and everyone said to the husband, "Sorry for your loss" over and over, but she was the only one to say to him, "You know she really loved you." The husband immediately looked up and expressed his gratitude for someone finally saying what he really wanted to hear. Professor Babral had a way of knowing what people needed.

Death is inevitable. It is something that impacts our lives, often out of nowhere, and we are changed forever. It is something people seldom wish to talk about or feel. I do not consider it random that this is the topic that Professor Babral and I connected on because I feel a undeniable, deep sense of knowing that being there for others during death and being able to handle this exquisitely sensitive topic is part of my calling. 

I thank Professor Babral with all of my heart for sharing her light and passion for compassionate, holistic, and nonjudgmental care and therapeutic communication with us. I will cherish everything that she taught me as it most definitely will continue to influence the nurse I become. I intend to practice, give, and live in such a way that serves to honor Professor Babral.  I pray that her soul rests in peace, and I hope that her and my Papa are able to meet in Heaven because I KNOW that they would enjoy each other's company--My Papa was a pharmacist and I could see them having a lot to talk about regarding healthcare, plus they are two of the most influential and kind people I've ever known. I pray greatly for her family--that they may find strength, comfort, and peace through their loss and in knowing how incredible Professor Babral was and how many lives she touched.

I extend all my love to Professor Babral and her family, and I close with this thought...