Value Each Connection

Hello there, the message I want to share today is simple, but it has the potential to effectuate change in your life.

Value Each Connection 
One of the best principles of living is to treat everyone with respect regardless of who they are, what they look like, or if they are in a position subordinate to you. No one is of lesser or greater value than you.

To illustrate, my boyfriend and I stayed in a hotel recently. The housekeeping staff member came to clean our room, but we were still preparing for the evening, so we asked the young man how he was doing and what his plans were for the weekend while we were getting ready. He seemed grateful for our conversation, but I knew he was touched when he left us this note:

He actually gave us extra coffee, shampoo, conditioner, and towels. Obviously, our reaching out meant something to him. Small gestures can make a difference. 

Similarly, my aunt told me how the free sample stations at Costco are always insanely busy where she lives. One day, my aunt asked the woman working at the stand how she was doing. The woman looked up and said to my aunt, "You are the first person who has talked to me in two days." How sad, right? Use your presence and reach out to people. 

The other night I had a patient who needed assistance throughout the night. I enjoyed caring for her and did my best to give her my full patience and presence as if I had nothing else to do except be there for her (even though I was busy). She ended up thanking me for taking such great care of her. Lo and behold, we discovered that we had several mutual friends. Her reciprocation of kind words meant a lot to me, but I was even happier that I gave her my best when I found out we knew a lot of the same people. You never know who you will meet or who you will cross paths with. 

Give Fully and Freely
Each time you interact with someone today try your best to be truly present--to maintain eye contact, to listen to what the person is truly saying (not what you think you hear), and to give them the gift of your presence through your attention and time. People want to be heard, understood, and valued. By taking a moment to pause your busy life and listen to someone while emitting the mental energy of, "How can I be here for YOU today?" you ignite a positive chain reaction. What goes around comes around, but strive to live this with no expectation of return.

Finally, here is one of my favorite quotes. It fits perfectly and kudos to my boyfriend's dad for it sharing it with me.

Have a beautiful day!
xo, -T

Your mind is profoundly powerful.

I firmly believe that your reality is molded by the interplay of your thoughts and feelings.

Your thoughts and feelings drive your actions and the energy you bring to any given situation, and these factors influence the outcome of the situation.

Challenge yourself to simply STOP for a minute and pause to realize that you are in control of your actions in every moment. This is especially important if you are feeling anxious, irritable, or any other trying emotion. It is your choice to feel this way, or not feel this way. The rest of the day is unwritten. You can turn around and feel differently right now. 

You can create a positive outcome.

I'll confess that last night I was so nervous to return to work. I couldn't pinpoint a specific reason other than it had been a few months since I was last home from college working.
My stomach was twisting in knots when it suddenly occurred to me that I was being silly. My shift had not even started! It was unwritten--a fresh, clear slate!
I had the power to control myself and what I was going to write on that slate.
I pictured myself remaining calm, collected, and confident through anything that came my way. I pictured myself communicating clearly with others and enjoying the camaraderie and teamwork. I pictured myself working skillfully and efficiently.
Lo and behold, I ended having a wonderful first night back.

Remember that you are not your thoughts or emotions, but rather the awareness behind them. Have you ever jumped with the rhythm of the waves in the ocean? Picture yourself doing this when you experience a thought or emotion that you don't want to feel...simply ride the wave and let it pass.

Today, I challenge you to work with your thoughts and feelings rather than against them. Harness your mind and use this beautiful and powerful organ to create the reality you want to be living. Don't judge yourself for whatever runs through your mind. Your thoughts only define you if you let them. 

Let's make today beautiful.

As always, please feel free to share any thoughts, questions, or suggestions in a comment!

Thoughts on Relationships

Wow, I really enjoyed reading this article: 15 Powerful Lessons for a Happy Marriage. I recommend checking it out!

I don't need to say much about this as you can take what you wish from the article. Some of these lessons can be applied to other non-romantic relationships too.

I must say, however, that I love learning all I can about relationships and marriage. I want to learn from what I have seen in my my grandparents and parents and start my future marriage at a place beyond where they began. I believe that it's my duty as the next generation to grow and improve from those before me.

I want to be the best partner I can be, and I know that begins within. When you love yourself, you are better able to love others. I think the concept of self-love can be challenging to grasp at times because there are times when I don't like myself at all...or I fear that my focus and determination come across negatively (hey, we all have insecurities)...but I think that self-love can be described as a gentle acceptance. Accept your imperfections. Honor yourself by making choices that are in align with your morals and values. Forgive yourself. Believe in your strengths. Strive to improve your weaknesses, but also learn to laugh at them. Respect the divine within you, and remember that you were born with a unique purpose.

In turn, relationships are dynamic and it can be beneficial to consider the energy and expectations that you bring into the relationship. After all, our priorities, needs, interests, and goals shift throughout our lives. The people we are with change too. I do not think you can ever be "too good" at being in relationships with other people, or the concomitant adaptation and synchronization of your collective efforts involved. In fact, this dynamism makes me think of flowers blooming. It's a process that depends on many factors, including your sunlight, soil, and water for nourishment. Stasis is not conducive to growth and evolution; you must always nourish the plant in order to sustain it, and relationships are strikingly similar.

So I leave you with this...how can you nourish yourself and your relationships today? Can you challenge yourself to be mindful of the lessons written in the article too?

P.S. Enjoy the time lapse of blooming flowers in the video below. Click to play. :-)

Long Time No See

I think it's safe to say that I've taken quite the hiatus from my blog.

I was finishing what is known as the toughest semester of nursing school. The good news is that I made it through, I learned a lot, I loved most of my classes, and I have only 2 semesters left! The last semester is essentially focused on transitioning to practice. I say bring it on! 

The second dose of good news is that I'm going to make a greater effort to write throughout the summer because boy, I have missed it!

Here are four things I wanted to share from the last few months:

1. Women's Health rotation= Love 

Nothing says girl power like cheering on women during labor, educating them about their bodies and their babies, and empowering them to care for themselves and their families. 

I was blessed to have an amazing day during my Labor & Delivery rotation. 

I was able to see a woman laboring, a Cesarean section (IN THE OPERATING ROOM-- MY FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD--I almost told the staff that even though the surgery was over I did not want to leave! No way did I want to take off my cool mushroom hat, mask, and foot covers. Plus, they gave me a stool, so I could see the surgery and I was really enjoying my new view 12 inches higher in the world), a vaginal birth (God bless, it is an absolute miracle), and I was able to cut the baby's umbilical cord!!!

I'm not sure you can tell how excited I still am, and there's no way for me to fully describe the experience, but I was on such an adrenaline high afterwards that when I went to the grocery store I dropped my keys twice while trying to pay for my groceries. The cashier probably thought I was nuts. 

My takeaway: Life is absolutely a miracle. The process of conception, growth, and birth is truly astounding. A doctor in this TED talk even says that it's "magic", "divine", and "beyond human comprehension." It is the greatest gift in this world, and I felt honored to assist in bringing two new humans into this world, and especially privileged that the physician handed me tools to cut the cord. It's important to pause and remember how incredible it is that you are here on earth living and breathing. It's something we take for granted.

2. You get by with a little help from your friends. 

During my 4 week women's health class at school, I finally felt like I had time to be with friends. I underestimated how much friendships can enrich your life. It's a blessing to find the balance of give and take--between letting yourself lean on someone and then letting them lean on you. It's also special to find someone who accepts who for you who are--all of your quirks, ups, downs, and in-betweens. It often feels like these people are rare, but I find that when I do things that are in alignment with who I am--when I be myself and do what I love--this is usually when I find these people.

3. Church

Why didn't anyone tell me that church could be amazing? I did not have a positive experience with church growing up, but I have always wanted a closer relationship with my Higher Power. I'm thankful that my boyfriend is the person who has lead me closer.  He said, "You know church can be a really great thing. You just have to find the right one. You should try it again." I felt very open to trying to find a place, and I've set off on a tour around town to find where I feel most comfortable. 

I cried the first time I stepped back into church. The first song began, and I started crying silently.

There's nothing quite like the overwhelming feeling that you are home.

I'm still figuring all of this out (and I'm open to people showing me the way), but one thing I know for sure is that we are all infinitely loved. Trust me, you are loved more than you can possibly imagine.

4. My favorite quote of the semester

During a holistic health lecture, one of my favorite professors spoke about being grounded. She spoke about developing the ability to be so grounded that other people do not alter your centeredness. Most of all, be so grounded that you can soothe someone's troubles and feel strong and peaceful within rather than depleted or drained. Be so grounded that you can say to someone (with actions not necessarily words), "Come with me," and you can help guide them. This is undoubtedly something I'd like to live as a future nurse and in my relationships with others...to be so centered and fulfilled within that I can reach out to others and be there for them.

Hope you enjoyed this entry. Please feel free to leave any thoughts, questions, suggestions, or writing requests in a comment.

Much love!

This past weekend I went to the Caring for the Caregiver hackfest. It was AWESOME!

I had the opportunity to stay in a nice hotel, meet five awesome students from my school, and work with them to develop a product for caregivers in just 24 hours. Schools from all over the state were there and we competed to design the best product; one that was usable, original, and profitable. Most schools created applications and websites, and my team created a website, application, and concrete product.

While I only got 4.5 hours of sleep over the weekend, I absolutely loved the experience, and I learned SO much along the way.

Here's a few of the most important things I learned:

1. Be your own advocate. I like to assess a situation and the people involved before I speak and participate. While working with five other ambitious, strong-willed, and intelligent students, however, I learned that if I wanted to truly be a part of this I had to jump in and think quickly. I had to speak up and communicate my thoughts clearly and effectively.

Assessing or jumping in may be more or less appropriate depending on particular situations, but it was great to have practice jumping in and taking action on what I wanted to work on. Be hungry, eager, and composed.

2. Delivery is critical and this includes diction and tone. When I spoke with confidence-with belief in what I was saying- and supported my opinion with evidence, my group listened to me more.

This was a rather significant realization for me. Many people have told me that I have a comforting voice--that it is a soothing sound, which might serve me well when I work with a patient in distress; however, I realized a soothing voice was not going to get me anywhere during this project, and it might not in the workforce either. I turned up the volume knob and pressed the "be assertive" and "command with confidence" buttons.
As a woman, it is interesting to find the balance between the nurturing/caring for others part of me and the I am advocating for what I believe in/I am a strong aspect, but we are blessed to have more than one side and it's important to develop an ability to flip sides and/or combine them. Men too--sometimes showing strength and an ability to feel is advantageous.

3. Know your strengths and weaknesses and develop both. I told my group that I like working with details, so one of the tasks I worked on was refining the wording and formatting of our presentations. I also planned where each of us would stand during the presentation too. I must say that we had the best presentation thanks to our practice, organization, and clean, professional appearance. You would be surprised how silly it looks when people do not know where to stand, or who speaks before or after them. (Shout out to my ballet training for helping me have the sense to "choreograph" and discuss these matters with my team beforehand). Accentuate your strengths and be willing to learn more to develop your weaknesses.

4. Value others. Everyone has something to offer, and we all have our strengths. Each person knows something that you do not. It was amazing to see my engineering teammates design a webpage and models of products. I was also impressed by some detailed information that my social work teammates knew even though our professions encompass similar topics. Everyone works better when they feel appreciated, so it can be worthwhile to recognize people for their work.

5. Master the art of reading others. This is very helpful when working with people. It was particularly helpful when I sensed one of my teammates was unhappy. He did not want to express it in front of everyone, so I found a moment to ask what was bothering him and delineate a course of action to help address his concerns. I think part of being a team member and leader is trying to ensure that everyone is on board during the ride. The team is stronger if we move forward together.

5. Knowledge and LIFE is out there for you to take advantage of and LIVE! It's a few days later and I am still thinking about this event. I learned so much about myself, other people, group dynamics, creating a product, some technology and business aspects of such an operation, and more. Most importantly, I feel a duty to learn and take advantage of what life has to offer.
I feel so empowered by stepping outside of my comfort zone.
It was so enriching to meet people who have different strengths and areas of knowledge.
It was inspiring to be one of the forty-two students in the state helping to architect the future.

Instead of scanning social media when I have a free moment, I am going to read my Flipboard app in an effort to broaden my knowledge (Flipboard encompasses news on a variety of topics from a variety of major published sources). I am planning to attend a free event tomorrow and listen to a speaker talk about humanity, society, and transformation. I am volunteering to participate in a professor's clinical simulation. I am not telling you this, so you will think I am great. I am sharing this because:

If I have the opportunity to learn, grow, and give, then I have the obligation to do so.


Could you be a better advocate for yourself, refine the delivery of your ideas, spend more time focusing on people's positive qualities rather than their negative ones, or take action to broaden your horizons? If you can then you should. 

Take a second to truly experience this...Feel this in your bones. 

Picture where you would like to be...how you look, what you see, what you smell, how you feel...Make your image tangible. 

When challenging moments arise during your day, take a second to come back to this place. Feel the calmness of being safe with yourself and the peace of being free to live as who you are meant to be.

Honor yourself and others by believing that your dreams are possible, that you deserve to live to your fullest potential, and that the world needs you to keep living and uncovering your purpose. 

When you give your unique contribution to the world you naturally invite others to do the same.

Carry this peace and gentle knowing with you today...

I enjoy a lot of what Brene Brown has to say,  and I love that her research focuses on human dynamics. I recommend checking out some of her TED talks if you have time. Here's one: The Power of Vulnerability. Some of her life lessons are below...this might be something else I will mount on my bedroom wall. :) I hope you enjoy reading it.

Well, hello there! It's been a while! School has been particularly busy lately, but spring break is providing me with a minor reprieve, so here I am. I feel grateful to have a moment to return home with myself through writing, so thank you for reading.

My brother shared this poem with me and although it's old, this was the first time I read it.

Desiderata

by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Strive to be happy.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

I think this poem is so beautiful and it has such pure wisdom. I plan to post it on my bedroom wall because it's amazing how it feels like everything I believe in and everything I need to remember. 

I can't pick a favorite line in this poem because they're all so rich, but the reminder to not compare yourself to others resonates with me strongly right now. I find this difficult because I am competitive, and I want to be the best at everything; I've always had an insatiable appetite for achieving.

In fact, when my mom asked me if I wanted to do ballet at age 5, I (apparently) said, "Only if I'm good at it." 

After every class, I would ask her how I did and if I was the best in the class. 

Even now, I always to want to be the smartest, fittest, most enjoyable to be around, etc. etc. etc. and I need to accept that despite my desire to have it all, be it all, and do it all--I can't. I'm human and so are you.

It's important to let go of any unrealistic expectations you hold on yourself and forgive yourself for not upholding the impossible.

If you feel that your efforts are lacking ask yourself if it's because you can truly do better and are capable of doing so without compromising the balance of your life demands......or if it's because you have an unrealistic idea of what your life is supposed to look like, who you should be, or what you should be doing.

Remind yourself that there is "no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should" and to "be at peace" while holding this gentle trust in your heart.

Posting this with a heavy heart this morning. I wrote the paragraph below yesterday on Facebook, but I wanted to write more on my blog as I am still processing the permanence of this tremendous loss.

I want to take a moment to honor our wonderful Psychiatric nursing professor, Diane Babral. We just learned that Professor Babral passed away fighting cancer this morning. Professor Babral was source of light and inspiration for us all. She was one of the kindest, most genuine, and most understanding women I've known. We collectively admired her warm, calming demeanor, spunky sense of style, openness in sharing stories, understanding, and support. I remember how she played a meditation for us during class one morning when she knew we had a Pharmacology test later that day...After our final Foundations lecture in December regarding "Death and Dying", her and I spent several minutes afterwards talking about death... I won't ever forget that. Thank you for sharing your gifts and your passion for nursing with us, Professor Babral. We will always remember you and the beautiful impact you have had on all of us. Your teaching has forever infused my life with meaning, and I will keep you in my heart during my journey through nursing. Sending you infinite peace, gratitude, and love.

I am struggling with the loss of Professor Babral because she was SUCH a special woman. I am feeling a chasm knowing I will never see her or listen to one of her lectures again. How a person may be present on earth one day and not the next is absolutely, the single, most perplexing aspect of humanity. It doesn't seem like it was her time; she had such a substantial impact to leave so soon, but I can only reason that her great impact was why she was able to leave so soon. She most definitely had an expansive impact on so many lives...patients, coworkers, colleagues, students, and I am sure family and friends. She was truly and sincerely a light for us all. She was one of the kindest, most patient, and most compassionate women, and she was also real, spunky, and a "tough cookie." 

I truly felt like my interactions with her had great meaning, and I cannot get over how ironic it was that the two of us connected on the topic of death and how it has touched our lives. 

I remember her asking in class that day, "Why are death and grieving difficult?" I was the only person to raise my hand. I answered, "Because each person is different and it's hard to know exactly what someone, or the patient's family, needs when they are grieving." She wholeheartedly agreed. 

After that class, we talked for about 15 minutes and she told me numerous stories about her experiences with death, one of which was about a child, and it was particularly hard for her. She talked about being the one to step in and call the time of death. This showed me she has great courage and strength, and her entire existence radiated compassion, so I have no doubt that she made the call in such a manner. Finally, she shared how she attended someone's funeral and everyone said to the husband, "Sorry for your loss" over and over, but she was the only one to say to him, "You know she really loved you." The husband immediately looked up and expressed his gratitude for someone finally saying what he really wanted to hear. Professor Babral had a way of knowing what people needed.

Death is inevitable. It is something that impacts our lives, often out of nowhere, and we are changed forever. It is something people seldom wish to talk about or feel. I do not consider it random that this is the topic that Professor Babral and I connected on because I feel a undeniable, deep sense of knowing that being there for others during death and being able to handle this exquisitely sensitive topic is part of my calling. 

I thank Professor Babral with all of my heart for sharing her light and passion for compassionate, holistic, and nonjudgmental care and therapeutic communication with us. I will cherish everything that she taught me as it most definitely will continue to influence the nurse I become. I intend to practice, give, and live in such a way that serves to honor Professor Babral.  I pray that her soul rests in peace, and I hope that her and my Papa are able to meet in Heaven because I KNOW that they would enjoy each other's company--My Papa was a pharmacist and I could see them having a lot to talk about regarding healthcare, plus they are two of the most influential and kind people I've ever known. I pray greatly for her family--that they may find strength, comfort, and peace through their loss and in knowing how incredible Professor Babral was and how many lives she touched.

I extend all my love to Professor Babral and her family, and I close with this thought...

Have you ever taken time to consider how your passions are woven into your life, and how they direct it? Perhaps, they aren't woven in as much as you'd like and you're looking for the way to thread them in.

Either way, our passions are unique to each of us.

I've been reflecting upon this as my friends and I have been talking about which areas of the hospital we're interested in working in. I've noticed certain units seem to attract certain personality types, and I can see where some people fit.

I've been deeply considering what I care about, what I value, and what I want. It's important to do this throughout life, so you can redirect yourself, whether that means taking baby steps or a huge leap in another direction.

I also recently had a conversation with a valued person in my life about how you become in sync with the universe when you follow your passions.

I've found this to be so true throughout my life, and I'll illustrate this with some of my life stories.

I remember when ballet was my foremost passion, and I moved 13 hours away to Orlando, Florida to pursue it.

When we stayed in a hotel on the way down, our room number was the same as what my apartment number was going to be.

I considered that synchronicity God's way of winking at me and saying, "You're doing the right thing--this needs to be done."

Some people will roll their eyes at this and brush it off as a coincidence, but the universe has a way of moving oceans for you when you're on the right wavelength, living in a way that is true to your highest self.

I don't consider it random when I had a wave of fire burn through me while I was sitting in my apartment one day in Orlando, roaring that I HAD to be a nurse.

My mom encouraged me to wean myself slowly from ballet, to keep dancing and try a college class on the side.

Well...

I started school full-time and jumped into as many volunteering and shadowing opportunities as I could.

In the mean time, I met the person I consider to be my life partner. We met in a class that was required for my major, but not for his. I was  not originally going to take the class during that specific semester, and he was taking it because it sounded like an interesting elective.

As I said, the universe has its ways.

Listen to your intuition. Recognize your interests. Don't give up on your daydreams. Do what you've always wanted to. You do not feel these desires randomly; you feel them for a reason.

Infuse you life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen--yourself, right now, right here on earth.

-Bradley Whitford

And that's all I have to say about that. :) 

Ah, I could not agree more!

This is something I am want to stay connected with each day.

I find myself rationalizing possibilities, and I believe that sometimes too much logic can be limiting.

When I look back on the course of my life so far, some of the greatest moments and changes were unplanned and...magical.

Leave some room for what's beyond "reasonable," which brings me to...

Allow passion in your life.

Is there something you lose yourself in? Something where you are so absorbed in the moment that you lose track of time? Something where you feel in sync with yourself and who you are meant to be? Do more of that. Make it happen--even if it's only once in a while.

The little moments when you feel a meaningful connection with something keep your spirit truly alive.

Quick update...

It's a huge relief to have my first two tests of the semester over with!

It has been such a busy week, and it's not over yet! I have 12 hour clinical tomorrow, so I am at the hospital from 6:30am-6:30pm. It's a long day, but I will be administering medications tomorrow (with supervision)!!! This is an exciting step closer to the goal! On Saturday, we have state convention at UVA, and I'll be there 6am-4:30pm. Long days, but I'm grateful, let me tell ya!

Anyway...

There was a precedent that the test I took most recently would be extremely difficult. Everyone was very nervous. Personally, I was terrified and concerned that I wasn't doing enough. It then dawned on me...

Who am I listening to?

It's important to consider who you are listening to, whether it is other people or the voice in your head.

What are you hearing and how do these messages serve you?

Sometimes it's necessary to light a fire under your butt to ignite motivation, but there also comes a point when nervousness, questioning, worrying, and comparing do not help.
You begin working against yourself. 

Consider who you let yourself listen to. Where are they coming from? The voice in your head can even throw a few curveballs at you. Know when to tell it to play ball somewhere else.

Last...

Know that you are different from other people and honor that. Your journey, what works for you, and what is best for you may be different. Don't worry about it: your journey is not for other people's approval and they're not judging your afterlife anyway, right? ;) 

Trust in yourself, your knowledge, your experiences, and your goals. With trust comes peace and acceptance, and confidence.

This energy along with gratitude, courage, and dedication is the perfect medium for growth, expansion, and connection, and that's really what we're for.

source: "Tablespot"

Happy Friday and congratulations on making it one month into 2015! 

It's a great time to check in with yourself and your goals. 

Give yourself credit for the positive steps you have taken and consider the direction you'd like to steer yourself next. 

Remember all the little steps pay off over time.

Today, create with intention. Each action you take is like a stroke of paint. What are you creating? Live your masterpiece.